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Let me be

Just this week, my ethics and behavior were harshly judged by part of my extended family and demands for change were strongly insinuated. Although this is no news to my ears, it got me seriously thinking about the potential negative effect that criticism could have on one’s life.

Luckily I happen to be very happy and comfortable in my own skin and far too stubborn to ever doubt my choices. But imagine that instead of laughing it off and feeling sorry for the judging party as I did, I happened to be shy and eager to fit in, to be accepted. Or maybe let’s pretend that I was simply too polite to ignore the comments. Well, if any of these scenarios were true then the criticisms would have caused some serious internal conflict. This most likely would have resulted in me questioning my own choices and beliefs. Perhaps it would have even pushed me to make drastic changes in my life.

The problem is that every time we do something that interferes with our integrity as the result of feeling pressured or simply to please others, we end up making ourselves miserable and resentful. Happiness comes from remaining 100% faithful to our core values and who we are without trying to impose it on others.

We can’t force people to think like us or even try to change them. Everyone is entitled to their opinion but that doesn’t mean that one’s views is better than someone else’s.

You should be able to stand tall and be proud of who you are and what you believe in without anyone trying to put you down.

People are victims of judgment and criticism all the time - at work, at home, in the community.

Whatever the criticism is about, the way you do your job, your parenting stye, the way you dress or your beliefs, you need to understand that the people making these comments are most likely unsatisfied with their own lives. When someone is trying to make you look bad it’s very often just an attempt to make themselves feel better.

When individuals are truly happy they are far too busy enjoying life and spreading joy; they have no time or interest in casting judgment on others.

So next time someone is trying to put you down, remind them how their focus should be on better themselves rather than trying to change others.

Focus should never be on being right or wrong, it should be on practicing mutual respect and understating that we are all the same human being but with different views and ideas.

If people truly grasped this simple concept there would be a lot less conflicts in this world.

Change starts with one person, so please, learn to be and let be!

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